I feel a general thread for all jokes should be started... I'll begin.

Did you heard about the magic tractor?

It went down the road and turned into a field.

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Foe: Borealelf

I don't get it?

Anyway, I hope translated jokes don't go bad. =)

A man was waiting on the bus, says the busdriver: "Come off!"

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» J o b zegt:
you like pee?
Nicole zegt:
ya
smell AND taste
feels nice too tho
esp when it spashes in yer eyes and mouth

...

Well, in the spirit of this thread, here goes mine:

What's the difference between a turnip and three guys walking down the street carrying a brick?




The turnip has a tree for hair, and the shirt of the first man is actually PANTS!!



who's next?

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WARNING: Quaffles is a whiny bitch, and he will complain to adminz if you say anything negative about him in your signature.

ok, i got alot of these: this is a knock knock joke -

person one: Knock Knock
person 2: who is there?
person one: Interupting Cat (or any animal)
person 2: inreupt-(person one makes really loud Meow interupting the other person)

ahh, this kills them in first grade:

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:roll: :)

What do you call a female bat?

A wombat.

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Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up.
http://www.acidlava.com

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?


Cus she's a woman.

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Mynn L says:
I LOVE YOU ADAM

Mommy, what were you doing bouncing on Daddy's stomach last night?''

''I have to do that, or Daddy's belly gets very fat. Bouncing keeps him skinny.''

''That's not going to work.''

''Why not?''

''Because the babysitter keeps blowing him back up again.''

haha

Whats black, and if it falls out of a tree your television will break?




your television.. >_>

_________________
» J o b zegt:
you like pee?
Nicole zegt:
ya
smell AND taste
feels nice too tho
esp when it spashes in yer eyes and mouth

Whats orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

How does Bon Marley like his doughnuts?

wid jammin.

Englishman, scotsman and irishman have escaped from a WWII prisoner of war camp. They are on the run with the gestapo hot on their tracks. They duck down an alley, only to find it is a dead end. On the floor are some large empty sacks so they each get in one.
Just after they have got in a tall German officer comes down the alley and see's the sacks, he kicks one to find out what it is.
The englishman in his best impession goes, meow.
So the German officer thinks, oh its ok, its just some kittens.
He kicks another sack and the scotsman goes, woof woof.
So the German officer thinks ok, it's just some pupies.
He kicks the last sack and the Irishman says, potatoes!

3 nuns driving along in a car when all of a sudden the devil jumps on the bonnet and the car stops dead. The mother superior leans to the nun in the back seat and says, go and show him your cross. So the nun gets out... goes over to the devil, leans towards him, and says.... get off the fucking bonnet you cunt!

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Foe: Borealelf

but my tv is grey....

This guy and his wife go to a ritzy golf course and on the Wife's first swing, she hooks a ball right through the window of one of the huge mansions that line the golf course. The Guy says to his wife 'Man this is gonna cost us, lets go see how bad it is.' They come to the house and knock on the door and a loud voice Booms 'Enter Please'. They both walk in and see the golf ball right in the middle of an exotic Vase that has been smashed. Standing across the room is a large balck dude in a flowing persian robe. He says in a booming voice' I am the Genie of the Lamp. You have freed me after many years of confinment. For that, I will give you each 1 wish, however, i shall keep the 3rd.

The couple looks at each other and agree. The man wishes to have a mansion on every golf course in the world that includes a lifetime membership. The wife, still young and fine, wishes they both retain thier current health for a century..

The Genie says 'Fine. Both wishes have been granted. My wish is to make love to the young woman before me as I have not had the pleasure of a woman of this nature in such a very long time.' They discuss it and agree it would be O.K.

After a long romp in the Sack, the genie looks at the woman and says 'May I ask how old you are?' She says 'Sure, I am 27 years old.'
He replies 'And you still beleive in Genies?......

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:roll: :)

hahaha

Why does helen keller only masterbate with one hand?





Cus she needs the other to moan with. >_>

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Mynn L says:
I LOVE YOU ADAM

whats the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari?

I don't have a ferrari in the freezer in my garage.

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Foe: Borealelf

what kind of bee makes milk?


A booby.





Chuck Norris ate a penguin once.
HAHAHAHA

A guy forgets his aniversary. His wife tells him:
"Tomorrow, there had better be something in the driveway that goes from zero to 200 in seconds, or else."
The next day, the wife walks out into the driveway. She finds a small package. Inside it is an ordinary bathroom scale. Services for her husband were held the next Sunday.

ITT: We google jokes and post them here.

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Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up.
http://www.acidlava.com